Time

Picture Borrowed

I attended a new-to-me PASG meeting this week and was thrilled at the number of brand new to 12-step sisters who were there. I love to see more and more sisters finding these meetings because I truly believe they meet many of the WoPA's needs. (supportive people who understand, a plan, a workbook, a time to share, etc.)

As one relatively new sister shared her experience in praying and praying and feeling like she wasn't getting an answer for sooooo long. She'd been trying to understand and hoping for peace and comfort for.ev.er and just wasn't feeling like it was coming. She spoke of patience and waiting on the Lord's time and how she has learned so much about needing to just wait and gain perspective.

Later she said it had been 3 weeks since D-Day for her.

My very imperfect (and often snarky) self thought "how long does she think a long time is? how hard could have possibly prayed in 3 weeks? what on earth can she have learned about patience and perspective in just 3 weeks' time?"

Of course I (almost) immediately repented and saw her as she is. You can pray DANG hard and cry A LOT of tears and make LOADS of progress in just 3 weeks. She is in an enormous amount of pain and wondering what happened to hear life. And she doesn't need me to tell her that she's gonna feel confused and hurt and cry for a helluvalot  longer than 3 weeks (pardon my language...)

Another woman spoke about working on one step for an unreasonably long time. (a few months) and Snarkmaster Buffalo emerged again. "3 months? She thinks that's a long time for 1 step?" But here's the thing. I'm slow. Insanely ridiculously slow. And for all know she's spent as many hours in 3 months working the steps as I have in 3 years. I admire her for working at all. Because it took me a long time (more than a year) to really start working the steps at all.

My favorite part of forums and blogs and 12 step meetings is finding people who get it. Who have been there and who understand. I love having other people who have been through exactly what I have been through.

So sometimes I forget that we're all on our own journey. What takes me 3 years might take someone else 3 days. And the results of this addiction are varied. Some people leave, others stay; some are mad, some gain testimony; some threaten, some crumble; some reach out, others dig in alone. While the roots of our feelings are so similar, our experiences simply aren't.

And that's OK. 3 hours, 3 weeks, 30 years it doesn't matter. It is gut wrenching.