I wanted someone to tell me the right words to say and feelings to feel after Husband loses (and loses and loses). I wanted an outline.
7 minutes weeping
13 minutes kneeling
4 minutes breaking things
1 minute lecturing
16 minutes planning
21 minutes writing
But when I wrote that post. Wishing and hoping for that answer, you know whaat I heard?
You will know.
I went to church and heard the same thing over and over again.
You will know. Pray for inspiration and it will come.
Every scripture read, every talk, ever classroom discussion boiled down to just that.
But what I really wanted was a formula. A measurable checklist.
So I listened to some talks and discussions.
And wouldn't you know it? Every single one said the same thing.
You will know. Pray for answers and you will get them.
Fine. I thought, I'll do it.
So before I went to bed I prayed for help through difficult to situations. I prayed I would know how to respond.
And I'll keep praying for that and training myself to hear inspiration and stop fighting it.
I'll keep you posted on that one.
Your knees will hurt, but it'll come:)
ReplyDeleteStep 11 helped me a ton...that was the formula I needed.
Then a facilitator finally came to my support group...only for a visit, but she shared something that has stuck with me...
"Before you pray, take a sheet of paper and fold it in half lengthwise. Write out all of your questions and then pray about them...not all at once if course. After the prayer the answers will come."
Often times they come in the form of scriptures or you could be guided to a Conference talk or just thoughts will come to your mind.
It's different for everyone.
So often I think "I will align my will with God and his timing" while in the same time secretly thinking, "I want to know God's will and I trust in His timing, I just want to know it all, and right now!" Oops, it doesn't work that way, since that isn't me really relying on Him OR His timing. And it's hard, but I'm coming to find that is how I REALLY demonstrate my faith in Him. I recently realized that I had turned God into a magic 8 ball. Like, sure, I heard what He was telling me "slow down, take it one day at a time," but I didn't really like that answer anymore. I was ready for something MORE. So I'd shake and shake and shake and feel frustrated that that something MORE wasn't coming. Oh yeah, it's because He's already answered and He'll provide more guidance when the time is right. Besides, I wasn't even fully doing what He had told me to. Sometimes I wish it were quicker or easier, but He knows what He is doing. Thank goodness. Because I don't! But I do know He'll guide each of us and is guiding you, line upon line...
ReplyDeleteLove this! I think this is ultimately what we are here to experience -- that personal relationship with our God, our Father. He ministers and guides and helps and heals in such personal ways.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post.
Guess we were in the same state of mind tonight. I'll pray for you, and me. And pray we can trust what we hear :)
ReplyDelete