Why Do I Hate Buffalo?

Why do I hate buffalo? I don't. Here's the story.

On a recent post a commenter mentioned something about being a strong pioneer woman and killing her own buffalo and dragging her own handcard "across the plains" and hoping the man decides to help instead of hinder that journey. Here's the direct quote:


keep on living your life as the pioneer woman. Raise your kids, keep trekking across the plains, kill your OWN buffalo, and pull that HEAVY cart yourself! IF he is willing to do what it takes, he will.... he will help lighten the burden and he will make HUGE strides in overcoming this addiction... but if he's lollygagging in the dust or dangling his feet off of the wagon, slowing you down, you'll know that it's time to possibly re-evaluate the situation.
 I've been told no less than10,000 times that I need to focus on ME and MY recovery and MY life and make sure that I'M doing what I need to do to honor MY covenants and commitments.
Never before has it sounded like that. It's always sounded like one of those "you can't help someone else if you don't help yourself" statements about the oxygen things on an airplane. Or worse "get out of his business becuase you're not helpful to him anyway."
But "kill your own buffalo" shows me very clearly and simply that I am responsible for my own salvation and life.
I've been very good at playing the victim because I've never done anything wrong in my whole life! (OK that's not true, obviously...so please sense the sarcasm.) and Husband came out of nowhere and blindsided me with this horribly ugly disgusting thing in OUR life together. And it's all his fault! (Do I sound like a whiny 12 year old girl? Did you hear the sound of the door slamming? Becuase that's what I was going for...)
I have 2 children who I want to raise in a home full of the spirit. It's my job to make it so.
I have a calling, a job, a life to live regardless of what he's doing - or even if he exists.
I have a realtionship with my Heavenly Father to work on.
I have scriptures to study. 
And if he chooses to join me, FABULOUS! But if he doesn't I still want those things in my life.

So I loaded up the kids and did a bunch of jobs I'd typically wait for Husband to do yesterday. I bought wood at Lowe's, tossed it in my little 4 door mom-car with it hanging out the windows, over the carseats and got it done.
 I took both kids with me to the hardware store, the grocery store and for haircuts without even mentioning it to Husband.
I didn't ask for his help in hauling the heavy groceries up the stairs.
I didn't ask for his help moving the cars around.
I didn't ask him to start family scriptures.
I didn't care that he skipped out on prayers.
I didn't ask his permission to leave after the kids were in bed.
I simply saw that things needed to be done and stopped expecting him to get off his butt and do them.


Know what? I like killing buffalo.

3 comments:

  1. I absolutely LOVE this post :-) There was a video on YouTube called "Stuck On An Escalator" that really shows this Idea in a really funny way. :-)

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  2. This is me. THIS IS ME! Thank you, love your writing style. If I see I need I just do it, I'm not begging, and I'm not whining, I'm just going to kill my own buffalo as well. Love!

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  3. Re-reading your blog. I REALLY love the way you write. And this post is SPOT ON.

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