The Biggest Tiny Victory

I am not a runner. But I sometimes run - only because it's good for me and I like how I feel AFTER the run. But I am slow. And I max out at about 3.5 miles. I run 3-4 times/week, but I am NOT a runner.

The root of Husband's addiction is anxiety. Pretty deep anxiety. And one of the things Therapist has suggested is Husband exercising every day.

Husband adds it to his Stuff list and does the very bare minimum. Walking, pacing, or going up and down our stairs for 15 minutes at a time.

So it was our ward 5K a couple of weeks ago, and I was going to run it, but the day of the race, Husband decided he wanted to come too. So we threw the boys in the jogging stroller and did it together. It was lovely. We chatted, we walked, we ran, we pushed. We had a great time.

And immediately after the race, while still on the running high, Husband casually said "we should do this every other day from now on" and I said "Sure!".

So we've been running together this week. We're starting from ground zero, walking a lot, running a little, and talking the whole time. But it has been great. It gets us outside, enjoying each other, and treating our bodies well all at once.

So the running in itself is a gigantic victory in my mind. The real conversation while we run is huge too.

But yesterday as Husband and I got to the trail where we run we had to choose Left or Right, husband had the Biggest Tiny Victory. I told him these were his runs and he could choose. I didn't care. He picked Left and on we went.

At the end of our run, he said told me why.

"I'm feeling pretty proud of myself." he started.
"Yeah, this was a great run, you did awesome and we went far!" I assumed (like usual) that I knew what he was talking about.
"Yeah, but I picked Left." he corrected me.
........
"I don't know if you noticed, but when we got to the trail, there was a lady running just ahead of us. She was wearing skimpy running clothes and I thought hey....we could run behind her and look at that the whole time! and then chose Left instead. I thought running away from her would have been better. So I picked Left."

He was surprised when I told him that THOSE were the kinds of decisions that made the difference in this addiciton. THAT was winning a battle. I was so proud and he was shocked that I was so happy he told me.

When losing weight, my favorites are the non-scale victories NSVs. Losing a pound or 2 (or 50!) is awesome and feels great. But riding my bike as transportation, or outrunning my kids is WAY better.

This was a non-porn victory (NPV) in my mind. If he can keep these tiny personal private thoughts in his head clean, he won't ever get to the point of sitting in front of his laptop staring at the blinking google search bar. When he has consistent NPVs he won't even have to fight the big battles.

So today we're celebrating the Biggest tiny victory. And praying for more like them.