Ma'am?

The other night it all went to hell. My kids and my husband all demanded too much from me and I lost it and ran away.

Too many requests.
Too much touching.
Too many tears.

The weep and wailing were too loud and the gnashing of teeth was just beginning.

So I grabbed my keys, recited my "I can't do this, I need space" line and left.

With no purse and no shoes, I wasn't ready to go out in public. The sun was long gone and I couldn't exactly go for a walk.

So I drove.

17 year old me took over and I drove to the local make-out point with stunning views of the valley and stars that never end.

In a minivan.
Alone.
With no shoes on.
Sobbing the whole way.

When I got there I pointed the van at the valley and turned off the car. I opened my phone and stared into the hypnotic blue glow. And I cried for all the things I feel I've lost.

Right on the cue the rain started to fall, and I rolled down the window to breath in the deliciously wet air.

That's when I saw a figure walking toward the car in the rearview mirror. but not in an ax murderer kind of way...

When he got to my open window the officer announced his presence. "Ma'am. Are you OK?"

"Yes, just trying to calm down after a long hard day." I tried to explain through my blubbering.

"Well the park is technically closed. But I'm sure it won't be a problem if you stay here and enjoy the view a little longer. ....." awkward pause "Is there anything the police force can do for you tonight?"

I assured him I'd be fine, and that I wasn't making out with anyone, and that I'd go home well before dawn.
He assured me I could stay as long as I want.

And after he left I started to laugh. Because I suddenly realized how stupid it must seem to any sane and well adjusted adult. Alone in a minivan in the middle of the night crying in the rain? Pathetic.

But to my little WoPA heart it was all just a regular Wednesday night.