After another epic therapy session today I'm left with a lot of deep dark soul searching questions. I have a lot of writing and searching and wondering to do. And I'm an itty bit terrified of the answers. But I finally feel like I really WANT the answers. So I'll dive in and do it even if I'm afraid.
Lousy good for nothing fear.
But one question from our session today is still rolling around in the back of mind. We talked about where I want Husband. If I could place him anywhere in the room, where would I want him?
I looked around the room and saw all kinds of places I didn't want him. (in the far corner, on the table in front of me)
I knew the "right" answer which was totally wrong. (on the sofa next to me)
I knew the wrong answers which made me nervous just thinking about them.
But it took a few minutes before I found a place for him that was comfortable for me.
I finally did. I wanted him standing near the sofa. Not facing me, but facing Therapist's chair.
The obvious insight it provided was quite valuable for me. I feel safe with him at a distance working on whatever he needs to work on. Not looking to me for answers or too close. Not shunned with his face against a wall on the other side of the room. But also not right next to me working on what he needs to work on. Right now I need distance.
Unfortunately it didn't answer all my questions and it isn't my ultimate goal, and I'm still not sure how to change the way I feel about it and how to get more comfortable with having him where I really want him.....
In the meantime I was surprised by the answer, and thankful for the insight.
But now I'm curious: where is your husband? And where do you want him to be?
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