Just Him

I spent 16 straight hours connecting with real people who I really love.

I learned real things.
I felt real love.
I knew I had support.
And validation.
And connection.
And absolutely nothing to be lonely about.

But at the end of it, I got in my car (alone) and cried. Because none of it was with Husband. And that's who I want to have real love and support and validation and connection and real with. As much as I love the others, the relationship that matters the most to me has none of those things.

It was a beautiful day with new friends and old. I was genuinely happy to be there.

But at the end of the day, I just want all of that with the man I share my life with.

That's what makes it lonely.

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It's a strange sensation to have a life changing day, then come home to everything being the same.

I feel different, I learned things, I'm ready to try something new....
 .....but I came home to the same old stuff.  Nothing new here. Same lonely. Same pain. Same bad habits. Same petty problems.

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