pondering raisins and tasting carrots

Mindfulness has been a common thing in my therapy efforts lately. It keeps popping up.

During the Addo Recovery lecture this week Kevin swore he looks at raisins and stands barefoot on the grass and studies trees. While I fully believed him, I equally believed that it simply isn’t possible in my life.  If I zoned out to fully examine and be present with a raisin…..

That’s where my belief that it wasn’t possible ended.

Because the truth is that if I zone out to stare at a raisin for 3 straight minutes nothing would happen. My kids would likely make a mess. They might make noise. It’s possible they’ll break something. But in real life, if the key to not feeling this way is staring at a raisin for 3 minutes, bring it on. Because anything they can do in 3 minutes, I can undo in 5. Which means I’m out exactly 8 minutes of my day.

And if I replaced just one 25 minute show with raisin-staring or tree-watching or grass-feeling (and repairing the damage my zoning might have allowed) I’m in.

So today I didn’t really have time to sit and eat lunch before running out the door to work. So I threw some carrots and an apple in a bowl and planned to eat on my way.

My commute is roughly 10 minutes long. And 10 minutes is significantly more time than it would ordinarily take me to eat carrots and an apple. So I decided to be present with my meal. I chewed the baby carrots like 9,000 times before swallowing. I tasted the difference between the peel and the meat of the apple. I breathed between bites. And it was delicious.

And while I was being all aware (instead of enthralled with the news story on the radio or the people in cars around me) I watched the trees lining the streets. They are beautifully varying shades of green. Some have blossoms. Some have leaves. Some are still waiting for both. I noticed the clouds in the sky….yadda yadda yadda.

The point is this. I was amazed by how easily I could fit this “mindfulness” into my life. I didn’t have to buy a special chair or find my own room. I didn’t have to wake up an hour earlier or find a babysitter. My children weren’t neglected, I arrived at work safely (and on time). I didn’t do anything I wouldn’t normally do anyway. I simply chose to be mentally aware of what I was doing instead of thinking about all of my problems.

And whattya know – it was a nice break from focusing on my problems.