I Could Never Have Imagined

I've taken the time to think through this pieces of my life experience and evaluate the path I've walked.

I've been surprised to discover how I feel about it.

Husband's addiction has brought opportunities, relationships and experiences into my life which I could never wish away. Walking through the valley of the shadow of death has been harrowing for sure. But tonight there is no doubt in my mind that my steps have been guided.

I spoke with some strangers this afternoon about my experiences. I stood in a room crowded with men and answered questions about the hardest and most traumatizing pieces of my life so far. I shared with them some of the feelings of betrayal and trauma (and who knew? there's this thing called betrayal trauma!) and the hope that has taken up residency in my heart.

We spoke of relationships I couldn't possibly have created without this community. This community of which you are a part. Even if you've lurked and never commented. Even if you never write your own story. Even if you haven't yet reached out. You are a part of this community. There are moments (like now) when I simply feel drawn to you. Because I know you're there, reading and nodding but mostly relating.

We spoke of the difference I see in me. I've become more loving and accepting, and I've learned to see. people. in a whole knew way. In fact I'd dare say I never really saw people before.

We talked for just one hour about the blessings I've found through this. At least I think that's what we talked about...

When the smooth waters of my life were disrupted with one small pebble's plop in the water, I could never have imagined beauty in the ripples to come.

photo by Michael Foley Photography (source)