Exhaustion

I feel like I spent a lot of the time "in the beginning" (I don't really know when "the beginning" ends and something else starts....whatever, I'm calling it the beginning anyway) trying desperately to find and avoid Husband's triggers.

He couldn't be alone - so I babysat him.
He couldn't be stressed - so I took on everything I could to relieve him.
He couldn't be angry - so I walked on eggshells. I'm bad at shell-walking. But I sure tried.
He couldn't be bored - so I invented things for him to do.

In case you're new to the addict language THAT is a beautiful picture of codependence.

But I have worked (and am continually working) to let him be the boss of making sure his triggers don't happen often and he deals with them properly when they do.

It's left me all kinds of time for me to identify MY triggers for my bad behavior.

And exhaustion is a big one for me.

Not just being tired. Or not sleeping enough. I can usually deal with that pretty well, but that run-ragged can't do enough, be enough, or try enough kind of exhaustion. It kills me - every time.

The thought of cooking another meal, writing another e-mail, or reading one more story to my boys makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

I get overwhelmed and overworked and overtired and I simply can't deal with my life and all that it demands of me.

So I lash out, and I suddenly see all of the horrible things that I hate about the people around me. Husband included. I simply can't tolerate my extraordinarily imperfect life.

So I am trying hard to avoid exhaustion by better managing my time and resources. I'm trying to work more efficiently and spend time doing the most important things. But I know that I won't always be able to avoid that feeling of complete exhaustion when I simply can't deal anymore.

So I'm curious - what do you do when you hit that wall? (or any other wall that you might have...)