Roommates

Husband decided that he refused to live in a sex-free marriage. That if I was going to hold out on him he was going to leave. He was done. He couldn't handle it anymore. A fight he wouldn't fight anymore.

By the time he told me this, he actually presented it in a fairly rational (minus the demand) focused and respectful way. But I was horrified that he was there.

He felt like we have drifted so far apart that there's not much to save at this point.

And he's right, we've drifted. I've been trying to let go, and frankly I got tired of trying. So I stopped trying. And what do you know? We drifted. Separate lives, one house. And it didn't take long.

I didn't notice it so much until a pest control sales guy came to our house and I told him I'd talk to Husband about it and he could stop by later.

He stopped by the next day and we hadn't spoken a word to each other.

He stopped by the next day and Husband and I still can't talked about it or anything else.

He called and I told him no because I was embarrassed to say I still hadn't had a conversation with the man I live with.

Anyhow, after the night Husband made his demand (sex or divorce) we both spent some time with our therapists and together and I was able to articulate some points of serious damage in our relationship. He was able to understand where I was coming from, and for now we're living happily ever after. We've made some adjustments to some boundaries, we've expressed our feelings, and we even had 3 conversations in just 2 days.

It's a nice moment right now, the feeling of calm and one-ness. Today we are on the same page, and we feel like more than people who share the rent.