6 months

July brought the fateful day when Husband and I decided that we HAD to give it 6 months with no talk of who was leaving who because one (or both) of us had had it with our crappy relationship.

Our 6 months is up and we both agree that we're happier than we've been in a long time.

Recovery wise Husband is doing almost nothing to maintain or achieve success. And it shows. And it's frustrating. BUT he has starting replacing one addiction with another. And he's now spending his spare time playing computer nerd games. So...there's that.

Recovery wise I am avoiding starting Step 4 like the plague because...well....it's step 4 and I'm terrified. But I keep feeling like I need to get it started. So, I attend my weekly 12 step meetings and get a little more courage every week to begin. I am doing a lot of other things to work on my own recovery, I'm making sure to spend time meeting my own needs and although they are teeny tiny baby steps and most of you would look at my habits and likely be disappointed, it's progress for me.

Relationship wise I'm giving a little and he's giving a little and we're both more committed than we've been since we got married. And we're having more fun than we've had in a long time. We're dating and playing and talking and having all kinds of fun.

Based on the serious lack of recovery stuff on his part and the tortise-like pace I'm taking I feel fully confident that this happy period won't last forever. And we certainly still have our bad days. But instead of having a few good days mingled in with the horror of regular life, we now have a few bad days mixed in with the fun and getting along.

Technically that's progress.

So I'll take it.

And I'll be eternally thankful for these last 6 months when I've been more willing (and able) to give our marriage all I had.