Husband and I have been married since 2006. Our first son was born in 2009 and our second in 2011.
Before we were married, Husband had a problem with masturbation. But he (and I) were pretty sure that once we were married (and therefore sexually active) there would be no need for that. Turns out that is not quite how it works.
About a year into our marriage Husband had one "small" issue with porn. Which he "took care of" (what is that supposed to mean anyway?) and we moved on. Then it happened again. And again. And again. A lot of Bishops didn't think it was a big deal because he wasn't a frequent or intense user.
It's been almost 5 years now and he's finally starting to treat this as an addiction. We have a lot of bad days and some good days and we're working through it. At least that's the goal.
mrs. a - i appreciated your comments on my blog so much! i can tell that you have dealt with a lot of heart ache in the past and i'm sorry. i am so happy to have found your blog. support and friendships have gotten me through a lot!
ReplyDeleteso nice to "meet" you!
hailey
Hi Mrs. A,
ReplyDeleteI think the tough part about the world of addiction is the unintentional hurting. Our men are trying to stop. They don't want to do it either and when things start going well, we believe them. And then the balls drops, and the hurt begins again. Is hope followed by hurt worse than hurt alone? Would a husband who openly and willingly looks at porn be worse than a husband who swears it off and then returns again and again? Not sure either case is any good, but I just know the hurt for me seems to be intensified by the hopes I build and then get dashed time and time again. I think we all have questioned, "Is it ever going to end?" Sorry, for the novel, I don't have blog to wax poetic on, so can I just piggy back on yours?
Please please PLEASE piggy back here! :D I totally agree about the hope - my emotions rise high enough to crash farther and farther every time. Just one (of many) of the many painful things accompanying this addiction is the consistent desire (and apparent inability) tojustl evae it all behind. Why did I think that would be so simple?
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