There have been some major life changes in our world since I last wrote, Husband got a job, we moved (in with my parents!) and life as I know it has been dumped on its head. I currently have 100 of your posts to read and heaven only knows how many thoughts I've failed to write.
But last night I walked in on something that had me all smiles and I can only share it here.
Husband's new job came with a long commute, one that was simply outside of reasonable for us. So we moved. Only we had nowhere to go and had to be out of our home. Because my parents live closest (by far) to the new job, we asked if we could occupy a couple of their unused basement bedrooms and found ourselves a storage unit.
My parents know about "The Problem" and my dad has been a source of comfort and counsel and love and support that was completely unexpected. Husband and Daddy have grown close in a way I never would have dreamed. The openness and honesty in their relationship and remaining mutual love and respect is admirable.
I stepped out for the evening and when I came home my children were asleep in bed and Husband and Daddy were sitting in the kitchen talking. I sortof crashed their party and silently (at least attempted silence) observed the way they spoke. They talked about the atonement, grace, addiciton in all its forms. They talked openly about sin and judgement. They frankly discussed the why and possible solutions.
The family I grew up in does not discuss problems. We talk about happy things and pretend the less-happy things don't exist. Especially if the less-happy things are caused by sin or error. And MOST ESPECIALLY if the sin and error are still happening. We typically like to slap a smile on our face and move on with life. And maybe in 10 years when it isn't a problem anymore we can bring it up in a "remember when" kind of way.
So to see this exchange between the two men I love and admire more than any others was a very big deal. Husband has been hiding the addiction for so long, and although I've heard him talk about it to Therapist I've never heard him discuss it with any other living soul. I was floored to listen to him.
He was using the words of someone in recovery. He was logical and detached. He sounded sober. (Which he is, 6 weeks now and he's a temple recommend holder.)
Sometimes I find it exceptionally easy to love him and feel confident in his abilities. This was one of those times.
I love this post! Brought tears to my eyes...my husband has only told his parents. We haven't told mine. I imgagined my dad talking with my husband the way yours did. I hope he will want to tell them someday. Not sure it's necessary, but I really don't like hiding it from those I love. I do it for him and will wait until he is ready.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that out of the craziness of moving and changes you had a great moment of happiness and peace.
What a breath of fresh air for you guys. The Lord works in mysterious ways an although this situation in your parents basement probably isn't ideal I'm glad you get this silver lining
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